Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone… and felt your blood boil?
We’ve all been there. Someone says something that gets under our skin and then it’s game over. Before you know it, you’re reacting negatively and following the old subconscious programming.
But what if you could learn to operate from a more positive, proactive programming?
Today I’m going to show you exactly where to begin so that you don’t absorb other people’s poor belief systems any longer.
- Be Aware Of What’s Going On
First of all, noticing that you are becoming irritated, agitated, upset, feeling hurt or whatever it is, is the first step to moving forward. More specifically, noticing that there’s a trigger and noticing how you respond to that trigger.
We are programmed to respond to certain situations, certain triggers and certain people in certain ways. These are like grooves on a record.
And remember how records used to skip? Well, it didn’t really mean that they skipped. It means they got stuck in one spot. There’s a groove that they got stuck in, and then you couldn’t hear the rest of the album or the rest of the record.
Well, it’s the same with us. We get stuck in grooves and subconsciously react on autopilot.
Now, if you notice something and become aware of it — but then you beat yourself up for doing it — you’ve made the situation way worse for yourself.
I’m going to share a quote from my Zen teacher, Cheri Huber. She says, “If you beat yourself up for noticing, you will train yourself not to notice.”
And without noticing, there is no change that can occur.
So what are you going to do now? Read on to find out…
- Be Aware Without Judgement & Separate Yourself From Your Mind
When testing situations, you need to understand that the situation is not you, that the other person is not you — and moreover, that those things are not necessarily things that you can even control in the moment.
The bottom line is that you must separate yourself from those situations and separate yourself from the mind that is getting upset around those situations.
If I receive criticism about the way I teach, it’s easy for me to feel hurt or angry about that, but that isn’t me talking. That’s the small self, the ego self, the fear-based self, the protective self — the fear-based voice that is my mind.
But that’s not who I am. Of course, my mind is part of me like my hand, my finger, my ear, my hair or my nose… but it’s not me.
Understanding that allows you to separate your mind from who you really are. It allows you to recognize that your mind is only your protective mechanism doing its job the best way it knows how to do it, which is reacting in that manner and therefore making you feel the way you feel right now.
Once you can separate yourself from your mind, you can be aware of your own surroundings without judgment and (on the next step)…
- Simply Say, “Thank You For Sharing”
When it comes to other people, they’re just trying to feed you their poison.
And why would you want to eat their poison? Just because somebody gives you poison doesn’t mean you have to eat it. It doesn’t mean you have to swallow it. It doesn’t mean you have to wallow in it. It doesn’t mean you have to bathe in it.
Their poison is theirs. It comes from their background and their conditioning. It’s not truly “them” either.
If you have poison inside you, what are you — to naturally protect yourself — going to try to do? Get rid of it, right?
So next time someone is saying something nasty, or something negative, or even anything that you feel is not becoming to you, understand this is their own poison. If you argue with them, it means you’re trying to give back their poison.
Again, it’s their own stuff. It’s their own stress. It’s their own fear. That’s all that’s happening.
Now, you can simply say, “Thank you for sharing.” If you’re really a good friend, you’ll listen for a bit and let them express it… but not absorb it.
I’d like to share this example with you from my own personal experience…
When I’m in seminars, believe it or not, during 0ur break-time, most people who come up to engage with me are very grateful and are there to learn — but some other people are there to be just to be “right.”
Of course, to be right, I have to be wrong, true? So they’ll come up to me and criticize something about me or my seminar, and I generally just thank them and move on. They might then insist on telling me why they didn’t enjoy my presentation. Eventually, I’ll need to move on to the next person, and have forgotten what that person said in about a millionth of a second, because I am not going to let that slime stick on me.
Do you know why?
It’s because I have another student who is grateful, happy and wants to learn and I am not going to transfer that first person’s slime onto my next person.
No way am I doing that to them, so I’ve got to let it go quickly.
Of course, sometimes I get hooked in. After the interaction, I feel myself all jittery and I think, “Why did I entertain that?” I’ll judge myself right away, but then breathe through it and follow the above three steps. And it’s these times when I decide to let it go and move on, that nobody has any criticism for me!
Once This Mindset Is A Habit, You’ll Be Truly Unstoppable In Every Area Of Your Life!
It’s the way of the Universe:
When we accept things as they are, instead of resisting, things seem to work in our favor.
I understand there’s a subconscious response to certain issues and fear, but it’s a practice. How do you think you change your subconscious? You change your subconscious/unconscious first by making the unconscious conscious.
The first thing you do is consciously come up with a method for stressful or intense situations. For example, “The next time a person raises his voice, I’m going to respond like this,” and you consciously create a method that works for you.
You’ve got to let it go consciously first.
When does the conscious become unconscious? Through repetition and practice. You can’t do something one time and have it become unconscious or sub conscious overnight. It takes frequency.
You do it again and again, and pretty soon that dendrite takes over. That neurological pathway becomes the path of least resistance, then it becomes unconscious. And once you have your own method of dealing with this toxic energy, and you’ve practiced it enough times, it will make its way into your subconscious.
From here, you’ll be able to repel the negative energy from those around you, and instead, focus on all the positive and exciting things happening around you. Once this mindset is a habit, you’ll be truly unstoppable in every area of your life.
As I mentioned, the first step for ALL change to take place is awareness. You must become aware of those thoughts that are creating those triggers for you and then causing unwanted and negative reactions in order to reprogram your mind.
And that’s exactly why I created a special Masterclass called: Speed Success Masterclass. Join me as my special guest to discover how to make this mindset a habit, so you can master your life and become truly unstoppable.
You want to be living life to its fullest by being fully aware of yourself and making choices based on your inner power, not judgment or fear. Judgment and fear will keep you from having what you truly want in life, and that’s no way to live. So to make sure that doesn’t happen to you, I highly encourage you to join me in my class as my guest. I know this class will make a huge impact in your life.